Thursday, June 26, 2008

"so I can make it juicy for ya..." huh?



Now... There's been a lot of speculation about whether or not this cat is gay. One would assume that the picture to the right would be evidence enough.

But before I continue let me quote Jerry Seinfeld...
It was on purpose! We're not gay! Not that there's anything wrong with that...
Dude, to each his own, I'm trying to get myself right. LOL

But back to the topic at hand. This cat is rappin about lollipops, and making it juicy for ya. I'm no Wayne fan, I have nothing against him but I can't fathom any way possible that making it juicy for anyone can be deemed masculine. One would think that this line would be coming from Lil Kim, not Lil Wayne.

Now, I aint saying that he is or that it's wrong but that...I wouldn't be shocked.

I would love to change the world, but they won't give me the source code.

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Oh $h*T! (pun intended)



There has to be a point in time where you just let things go. At some point after your boyfriend has banged you in your eye for the 15th time, you have to realize that maybe you need to let him go. Or when your g/f has screwed another one of your homeboys, maybe you need to cut that loose. Dropping that french fry inbetween the center console and your seat...after about 10 seconds of hunting for it, just let it go.

There has to be a point in which your personal device hits certain public areas that you just have to let it go. If your cell phone has slipped from between your greasy cheek and that silk shirt that you have on and fallen onto the bathroom floor of that Mc Donalds that you can't seem to stop visiting... Stop and reflect at how many people have peed on that floor and then reflect on how much that phone cost and make a judgment call. Who knows...maybe it won't bother you at all because you don't wash your hands anyway and pee is just water, right...right??

There's a bit of a difference between in the areas surrounding the public bathroom stall, lets list them in order from least worst to the worst.

1. The floor, in front of the toilet.
2. The floor, at the base of the toilet.
3. The floor and to the sides of the toilet.
4. The floor and behind the toilet. (This is dangerous because you're getting mighty close to touching that stained porcelain...)
5. Bouncing off the seat into areas #1-#4.
6. The area where the hinge of the toilet seat is...where they don't clean at all...
7. In the toilet...

If your phone is -$100 you need to go no higher than #2 if your phone has fallen.
If your phone is $100+ then maybe you can scoot up to #3.
If your phone is $200+ and relatively new, then #5 is your limit.
If your 14, your phone is $300+ and your parents just got it for you, you better fish that mofo out. LOL

Dag...I haven't even touched on the letter yet. Does anyone listen to Steve Harvey in the morning and how he dissects letters? Let's dissect this letter...

- Obviously this lady was talking on her cell phone while using the toilet.
- Cell phones will float but yet hers is lodged into the toilet which means that she flushed the toilet in hopes that when the water disappeared she could quickly reach in and grab the phone with minimal splash damage from the poop water. She failed at this... In her desperate attempt to retrieve the unit, the water was too strong and sucked the water back in.
- This lady has issues with closure. She needs to know when something is over, regardless of all the glaringly HUGE evidence that this situation is at its end.

But, she is awesome for putting her note into a protective sleeve.


I would love to change the world, but they won't give me the source code.

Tuesday, June 24, 2008





What's going on in this picture? Well, apparently someone was shipping a whale and the thing kinda just fell apart...

That must have been an interesting sequence of events. Even before the whale split, it has to be pretty weird to be driving around with a multi-ton dead animal strapped to your rig...and then to have said animal complete unravel in the middle of a public intersection must provide one with a typical "WTH just happened?" type moment. Please excuse the language (lets just say H = heck LOL) but...such mammoth incident had to have provided an equally explosive response.


I would love to change the world, but they won't give me the source code.

Monday, June 23, 2008






























This is how beat the system. You come outside and you have a boot on your car? What do you do?

1. If the lugnuts are exposed, simply remove the tire and put the spare on.
2. If the claws that hold the boot to the wheel are locking onto the tire and not the rim, simply deflate the tire and pull it off.




I would love to change the world, but they won't give me the source code.

Friday, June 20, 2008




When I saw this picture (please forgive me), I was instantly able to relate to the lobsters in the tank at Red Lobster. I now know why they huddle together in one corner in the tank at Giant food. These are the looks they get. It's that..."Imma tear you up!" type of look. That last phrase.... *shudders* Now that I sadly think about it, LOL... This look can be interpreted many ways but since I NOT know what she was doing at this time (I have the fear of God in me), I will not elaborate.



I would love to change the world, but they won't give me the source code.

Wednesday, June 18, 2008



-Folks... If you're going to purchase "how to have sex for dummies"... I mean really, why didn't you walk that purchase to the car after you left the book store? Has this world completely run out of shame? Looking at this dude, he's a grown-A man dawg, well into his 30's. Oh, why do I even bother.

FEMA steals $85 million from Katrina victims
-Yeah, I purposefully said they stole it. Theres no way in the world you can honestly misplace $85 million worth of supplies. You do not miraculously rediscover these supplies after CNN puts your agency on blast in front of the Nation.

It's awesome how this gets hardly any mention.



Congratulations to Lord Tiger for winning one of the most epic battles in the history of Golf. I ton of respect/admiration goes out to Rocco for truly giving it his all.





I would love to change the world, but they won't give me the source code.

Friday, June 13, 2008

Old socks....



Is this juvenile? Sure it is. But for those of you who know me personally, when have I ever truly cared what others think?

I think that sometimes subliminal stuff like this is purposefully left into children's media. Maybe it's to entertain adults with a chuckle that would otherwise go completely over an innocent kids mind. Because clearly, this is just some "webbing" that Spidey man left laying around. I wonder where MJ is...






I would love to change the world, but they won't give me the source code.


Really....

I'll get back to the Cirque du Solei blog in a bit. I just wanted to share this screen cap from Fox News. It's amazing how they can put up bull like this. Politics...no wonder nobody wants to participate in such atrocious system.

What about this "war on terror", the economy/recession, the highest unemployment in 20 years, gas prices? I guess those aren't the issues.

I would love to change the world, but they won't give me the source code.

Sunday, June 8, 2008



The iPhone is the worst phone to take pictures with one-handed. I see this guy from time to time when driving to work on the capital beltway. I could not begin to explain what could only be described as ornaments that adorn his vehicle. It's weird but I must say, I work around some off people and this does not shock me in the least. What is slightly worrying is that I believe there is more than one vehicle traveling 295 that looks like this.


KOOZA! This show is beyond awesome. I had the chance to experience this show, I'll blog
about it tomorrow. Here's a sneak preview.... *BOMB













I would love to change the world, but they won't give me the source code.

Friday, June 6, 2008

Look me in my face and tell me you didn't know... You know what you were doing, you knew what was up when they were assembling to take the picture. You knew when the picture was being taken. You had the audacity to be the one who demanded another picture be taken...like it'd make a difference...












I would love to change the world, but they won't give me the source code.

Wednesday, June 4, 2008

6/4/08 8pm -- First and foremost I must profusely apologize..., syke it's not even that deep. What better time to update my blog then when I'm waiting on a virus-scan to complete.

What's even worse is that I still didn't sit and write a blog. I've been awfully tired and just worn out. As I type this my phone is ringing and I cringe at each

Random thought of the day: Many Hillary supporters are showing their "ignorance" on the news. One lady was heard saying that there's less difference between Hillary and McCain than between Obama and McCain. Wow..., just wow, good job America. All I heard during the primary was that Obama and Hillary were very similar. There is an entire gulf between Hillary and McCain in regards to their policies. But I guess that gulf is a thimble in contrast to the colors white and black... Let's all vote for Jurassic John!

Or... Maybe this isn't even an issue and CNN/FOX/MSNBC just need some more BS to get ratings. Either choice is pretty retarded if you ask.


I would love to change the world, but they won't give me the source code.

Thursday, May 29, 2008

a rant....

Rant:

If you are an EU("end user" aka person who requests their pc to be fixed @ work), please DO NOT try to do stuff on your own. Please do not attempt to set up your email account. Our jobs are a tiny bit more complicated than simply clicking "next" through the setup process. NO it's not as simple us "starting over" with certain programs. In situations such as these you just made a 5 minute setup into a 45 minute call to the ApplicationX guru who happens to be the expert on this individual application to try to figure out how to undo whatever the heck it is you just attempted to do... So please, believe us when we say it can't be done at this moment and let us do it. Please.


I would love to change the world, but they won't give me the source code.

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Beware of what you pray for?

Beware sounds kind of extreme/morbid but...it's true. My uncle often mentions during his sermons that when you ask God for something he'll give it to you... Duh, we all know that right? Matthew 7:8/Matthew 21:22 There are more scriptures but you get the idea. Ask, you get it. All you need is faith, expectation, patience and in my case just enough obedience to slide through. LOL You should always try to strive to be more obedient since in His eyes that's greater than sacrifice. Anyway, back to the topic...

I've been through the ruffest two weeks I've experienced at my job or any job I've held. My coworker is out due to surgery and I've been asked to hold down the fort. This building requires 2-3 people to run smoothly and without a hitch. When major "fires" break out, one can tend to the emergency while the other can handle the day to day bullcrap that pops up. Well, there is only 1 person here and over 500 users to support. Tough gig right? But it's been a blessing. I've felt envigorated since the moment she left and it's great feeling to know that I can do this on my own. I can run this building alone if need be and I feel that I'm still growing as a tech. My comfortability in certain process will only grow and make it even easier than it is now. Now that is not to say that I don't need my coworker because she is awesome, but it's good to know that I'm valuable to my company and my customer?

So what did you pray for? I prayed for increase. I prayed for a substantial raise. So why beware? Why? That 1st paragraph is why. I knew when I prayed for that, I was going to be tested to see if I was worthy of it. My new boss doesn't know of all the awesome stuff I did last year or of my growth since I was 1st hired. I wondered how I was going to be show him that I deserve a raise. Well, a reason was provided, on top of all the other reasons I listed in my self assesment. The fork in the road was presented to me. If I wanted to be blessed I had the option to do what needed to be done and I'm doing it. Not only has this present me with a way to achieve what I need/want, it's made me a better employee and is a step to knocking out a habit of procrastination. That would be my 2nd habit of the year and would be an awesome consilation prize on top of a substantial raise. I'm proof that prayer does work and that God blesses you even when you don't deserve it.
I would love to change the world, but they won't give me the source code.

Thursday, May 15, 2008

Whats the deal with the hate?

One thing I've grown to dislike about "corp america" is the whole rate race mindset but thats nothing new. I also really dislike the mentality of stepping on others to rise to the top but I guess that's unavoidable... The one thing that's really kinda irked me is how other black men act towards me in the work place. Is it that I'm half their age or is it because I'm black? Are they supposed to be the only blacks that work here? Someone fill me in.

They just come off really stiff and tight. They don't want to acknowledge you in the hall and one even tried to carry me(joke on me) once in the elevator. At the time I was so happy to have this fly job I didn't care what he saying... I dunno. It's mostly the 40-50 year old black men, the older dudes are typically pretty friendly and of course the guys closer to my age are kool and helpful.

Well, don't be threatened by me black man. Jealousy is a female trait.


I would love to change the world, but they won't give me the source code.

Friday, May 9, 2008

I can't be selfish...

My creativity comes in spurts so I try to horde ideas and dish them out evenly so my blog doesn't have any dry spells. LOLOL


Here you have it! Tell me that my homeboy Fonso doesn't resemble this cat!





I would love to change the world, but they won't give me the source code.

You're drawing my attention...LOL pun intended




that makes me want to barf up my small intestine. Look at this miraculous catastrophe of big crayons, near sightedness, astigmatism and a totally wacked our sense of "artistic" creativity. LOL, I can't believe I woke up to seeing this in my local starbucks one Saturday morning and I knew I had to take a picture of her as soon as she walked in.

Lemme tell you, this chick strolled into the shop like she knew she was the business. She was on her phone gabbing it up, not too loud but seemingly unaware that she was in a public place. Basically she was drawing me in to a mindstate of ignorance that I often engage in but at times try to ignore because it's going to get me intro trouble sooner or later. I had to take a picture of her and time was of the essence because my vinte caramel apple spice with extra whipped cream was due up any second! Plus the iPhone is sleek but slippery and near impossible to take one handed/obscure pictures with...soooo.....yeah, you can tell she knew I took a pic but she deserved to know. That drawing on her face belongs in museums and to be adored by the masses, if she didn't want anyone to see it, she shouldn't have left the house.



Yeah, so... I guess this is what bookstores think black people are interested in... Can't blame em cus this is all I see any of my friends reading anyway. Sex books... Nice. Way to expand our minds above the out of control pregnancy rates and astronomical STD rates her in Baltimore. *round of applause*



This last picture was just something I wanted to share and is one of many that can be found on NASA's website. Pretty awesome, amirite?


I would love to change the world, but they won't give me the source code.

Tuesday, May 6, 2008

Why must we walk in the street?



What is the problem? Really. People walk in the streets and have the audacity to get upset with you when you try to drive by. They look at you like you're supposed to be driving your car on the sidewalk. Now, I haven't been too many places but out of the places I've been, I don't see people walking in the street like they do in Baltimore. It's like a need to be seen or be noticed that is being filled by getting in the way of my vehicle.


I would love to change the world, but they won't give me the source code.

Friday, May 2, 2008

http://girlgetpaid.com/

Just another reminder to all my female readers to check out my homegirls blog. It's full of ways to make some legit cheese on the side. She's one of the sweetest people I know, so take a peak at her blog and I'm sure she'll ask any questions you may have.

Click here

I would love to change the world, but they won't give me the source code.

A bit of tact would be nice...



My people... When you go out to a gathering, be it double dating, weddings, funerals or just random fellowship please do not attack your food. The photo evidence above was taken at a recent wedding, while we'll leave the suspect unnamed lets just say he's a thin six foot black male with long hair. LOL.

You cannot say that this man ate his food. You cannot state that he was famished. Those words do not accurately depict the destruction and ferocity in which this poor animal was dismantled. This man destroyed this animal. He vaporized any resemblance of what type of animal this could have been. If I had not received the same plate of food as he I could not report back to you that this was indeed an animal and not a small child. This man had a hunger that a snickers bar could not quench. It would take more than .5 a day to feed this man through a missionary Christian fund.

Please, my people... Do not come to a place of fellowship with this type of hunger. People like me notice and will write a blog about you.

I would love to change the world, but they won't give me the source code.

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

How to survive a zombie apocalypse...

1. Keep tons of non-perishable food in your house.

2. Get out an exercise. If you can't run at least a mile at a good pace you're getting left behind. I'm not going to stop to help you if you're not needed. Children and elderly can get left too.

3. Get out of the city. If you're in NY or somewhere like that, you're screwed.

4. In the event of a zombie apocalypse, would you drive 20 minutes across town to find your loved ones? Heck no. Granny is as good as dead and if you're dumb enough to go try to save her, don't take any of my ammo. It's going to be wasted. Lock the door before you go please. Also, we're not going to undo any barricades for you to save your aunt or your stoopid dog. If you attempt to remove barricades and potentially letting the zombies in, we'll kill you. Seriously.

5. Have a lot of guns.

6. Learn how to shoot your gun.

7. Grab a bat in case the gun isn't working out for you, or you run out of ammo.

8. If your dearest loved one turned into a zombie, what would you do? Kill them. They're gone and if you don't kill them, one of us sane people will do it. If you get to acting a fool...you can leave.

9. In the event that a large group of your posse is in danger, it may make sense to aid them. You may need some of their expertise and help along the way. Ultimately, you have to look out for numero uno but dont chump out and end up delaying the inevitable screwing of yourself because your were chikin.

10. If you happen to be caught outside at the start of the apocalypse please don't wait for the zombies to wake up before finding refuge. I'd look for a walmart, mall or fortified building. A firehouse may be ideal, block the steps... I'm sure zombies can't climb poles. Poor scalding how water down the chute.

11. The 1st matter of business is to fortify your position. Check for all exits and secure them. Don't let any people of a particular "ilk" that like to open doors near the exits. Kill them if they step within 100 feet of the exit. No time for games or emotions.

12. If you hear strange noises outside, remeber that this is a zombie apocalypse. All those who wish to investigate may do so at their own risk of getting shot for stepping within 100 feet of the exit.


I would love to change the world, but they won't give me the source code.

Friday, April 25, 2008

America the beautiful?

America, where an 18 year old gets oral sex from another willing teenager and gets 10 years in jail.

America, where you get shot 40+ times for reaching for your wallet.

America, where trees are designated for whites only.

America, where you can get shot at 50 times by 5 "upholders of the law", 30 of which come from 1 individual, die and not get any justice.

America, where our president waits days to visit New Orleans after Katrina. Where many are still without homes and yet we don't have a f*cking thing for them.

America, where we can pump billions of dollars into a war that we the public no longer support or ever supported depending who you are. Yet...we can't feed victims of a national disaster.

America, where billions upon billions of dollars are spent for wars yet our skool systems suck, our veterans are homeless, our teachers abused...

America, where our politicians are paid off by corporate entities so that they can screw us over. gas Look into who in the Bush adminstration has monies invested in oil... Look at the technologies that are stunted because "they" won't make any cheese off of it. And then look how that is effects your pockets. Freedom is ringing right?

I mean really... There's no place I'd rather be, I'm not on some back to Africa nonsense but... We've given up our power as citizens. Didn't they teach us in skool that we hold the power to this country? Doesn't seem that way anymore does it? Where are the protests, the boycotts the sit ins? United we stand, right? Divided we fall... We've fallen as citizens in my humble opinion. I often sit back and wonder if I'm going to be apart of that change... The thing is, they don't want you to think that its worth it to even try.

America....where our "leader" president bush says we need to be at war to PROTECT US. A father and soon to be husband gets riddled with bullets by the Police... He had no gun... Maybe those billions of dollars spent each month should be spent on teaching the NYPD on how to conduct themselves. This is where it all started anyway.


I would love to change the world, but they won't give me the source code.

Thursday, April 24, 2008

How not to design a logo...

Another quickie to share. I saw this on my favorite forum (GAF). To read the article clickhere.

The basic gist of the article is that the London Office of Govt. Commerce wanted a bold and striking logo design.





The employees soon noticed the...awkwardness of the logo shortly after its unveiling. LOL





I would love to change the world, but they won't give me the source code.

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

NFL contracts

Just a quick entry today.

I've been thinking about how phony the media is lately and how fickle and phony sports fans are.

You have a player like Shaun Alexander who just cut from the Seahawks cus he wasn't performing. They ended his contract that quick... The media doesn't care and the fans are happy.

Then you have a player like Chad Johnson who says the team isn't paying him what he's worth and the media and fans are outraged...

Why is it that a team has the "right" to tell a player that we're not going to honor the contract and release them? But a player is looked down upon for trying to get the money they're worth while they're worth it?

Doesn't seem fair? To be quite honest, I don't blame them for wanting to get paid while they "deserve" the money.

PS Teachers are underpaid.

I would love to change the world, but they won't give me the source code.

Friday, April 18, 2008

No means no, but yes means no later... sometimes...

Ok a brief rundown. Baltimore City court rules that a woman has the right to tell a man to stop penetration of her body at any time during sex... Great!!

If the dude fails to stop, it's considered rape... Ok...I agree with that but I have some questions though...

In the story linked below a community college student allowed to high skool students to run a train on her. She consented to the second dude to have sex with her only if he stopped when she requested. The dude was a bit ruff and she asked him to stop, he stopped a little over 5 seconds later. He and his homeboy are now charged with rape, one for 5 and the other for 15 years if I'm not mistaken.

My questions are as follows.

- What if he stopped 2 seconds after she requested him to stop? What about half a second? 1 second? At what point does it become rape?

- How do you prove the someone kept going? How do you prove that you stopped? I assume many people will be videotaping their "sessions" from now on or taking a queue from Dave Chappelle and getting contracts signed before the action begins.

I'm all for protecting woman and men but this just seems like it's going to cause a lot of people heartache. What is to stop a bitter/vindictive person from lying about this, male or female for that matter?


Read the articlehere.

I would love to change the world, but they won't give me the source code.

Thursday, April 17, 2008

Abortion is now considered art/What is an attention whore?


Beginning next Tuesday, Shvarts will be displaying her senior art project, a documentation of a nine-month process during which she artificially inseminated herself “as often as possible” while periodically taking abortifacient drugs to induce miscarriages. Her exhibition will feature video recordings of these forced miscarriages as well as preserved collections of the blood from the process.

Read the rest of this article here.

What was even more shocking...well I guess it shouldn't even be shocking. This is how some people felt about what she has done...

- I have no moral objection but it's pretty shit art.

- That's wierd but it's legit art. I mean, she does the hell she wants with her body. In this concept she was expressing herself so well, it's art.
As long as "art" does not involve killing or torturing people i guess it's allright.

- can someone explain how this "cheapens the value of life". Before you do that, can you first explain what the "the value of life" is?

- So what makes humans more important than grass? It's not like there's anyone to remember us in a few billion years.


Scarily mindblowing... I don't know how else to describe it... Even if technically according to science these embryo's weren't alive. Let's just take that stance for a second. Let's say they were nothing more than a goop of goo... The fact still remains that someone is starting the early stages to "life" just to kill it for the sake of "art". That is truly disturbing and has to be one of the most disgusting things I've ever seen in my life.

Now if we take the stance that these embryo's are alive... Well, that's a whole other can of worms.

I would love to change the world, but they won't give me the source code.

I bet all companies hate the internet....


Honda Civic SI owners incite change!

Here is another example of us forum dwellers making companies own up to their mistakes. Honda of America(HOA) refused to acknowledge that FACT that 3rd gear in our 6speed manual transmissions was faulty. That was until we signed petitions, and banded together. Multiple forums such as 8thgencivic and Acurazine which both I'm a member off made this issue really well known. Plus we got the media involved...

Think about it... What do you think of when you think of Honda? Reliable, long lasting, good trade in value...? Do you think Honda wants us on the news saying how we have issue with a MAJOR component of our transmission and they won't even acknowledge the fact that it exists and won't fix it? They sure don't and now they've all of a sudden "acknowledge" the issue and are fixing it.

I would love to change the world, but they won't give me the source code.

Circut-City causes $12,000 worth of damage when installed a radio...



INTERNET serious business, click here to read the article.

So basically the internet is really flexing it's muscles lately. I've seen two instances were companies try to dick around customers because they're greedy. What's happening is that folks complain on forums and the word gets out world wide. You have thousands of people sympathizing with the customer and eventually it snow balls. Companies don't mind pissing off 1 person but when they're showing their displeasure to thousands of potential customers and they all join up and start contacting local news affiliates...big evil corporations start to change their tune.

Read the article above to see how a local circut-city installs a new radio for a customer, causes $12,000 worth of damage and REFUSES to fix it until "the internet defense force" steps into play. LOL

I would love to change the world, but they won't give me the source code.

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

This is what we're missing out on...



Read the article by clicking here

I was always interested in astronomy as a child and remeber my dad telling me how I was missing out on a spectacular view by being raised in the city. Even traveling pretty far out into the country side didn't give me too much of a view. It wasn't until recently that I looked up during a clear sky and saw just how beautiful the night sky is. It's really breathtaking and births tons of thought and awe in the mind. The picture above is from Arizona where light pollution is not allowed...

What is light pollution? It's the accumulation of all the hundreds of thousands of lights in a large metropolitan area and the effect it has on the areas they reside and the areas that surround them. For those local to the MD area, the greatest distinction I've seen is when coming across the bay bridge heading towards Baltimore. You go from the pitch blackness of the eastern shore to the light bulb of the other side of the bridge, its literally night and day. I look forward to traveling to a remote location to see the beauty of the Heavens.

I would love to change the world, but they won't give me the source code.

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Collegiate students want to protect themselves...

I understand why students would want to do this but IMO more people would die foolery than ever before. There will be people playing with the guns, forgetting to put the saftey on, misfires, "accidents" and other random events.

When you have 20 college students pulling out guns to fire at an intruder...at one point does everyone recognize the target and fire on the correct person. What if your glasses get knocked off during your dash to grab your piece (lol) and you mistake me for the intruder... There's too much more than could go wrong in these situations.

People I trust with weapons -

Teachers...possibly...
Airline pilots...possibly...
John Doe with a trigger finger and short attention span who just finished a Halo3 marathon...not soo much...

I would love to change the world, but they won't give me the source code.

Monday, April 14, 2008

Just thinking...

I believe what I believe, I said that the day I started this blog. I happen to believe in the Bible. I've been listening to some favorite preachers of mine and been doing some reading the past few days

I sometimes see where people believe that there is no innate moral law within us. If that is true than one cannot say that the atrocities of society are out of control or all that shocking because if there is no moral law within then how can you accuse these people of bucking against the grain?

Maybe I'll flesh out these thoughts a bit more at a later date.


I would love to change the world, but they won't give me the source code.

Wednesday, April 9, 2008

Skool is always open @ the barber shop

Ok, I'm sure that Ice Cube has educated those of you who don't ever or even regularly enter "black barber shops". You should all have a decent idea of what goes on in regards to jokes and conversation. Here is an excerpt of what went down last Saturday.

The only real name I'll use is that of the drunk dude, his name is Marvin. I get my hair cut on Saturdays, this has gone on for years and I've never seen this dude except during the weekdays. So he pops up for the 1st time that I've seen at 10am. He is already drunk and ready to skool us and kick out some wisdom. Please forgive me for the lack of explanation on certain topics but I was actually in the chair at the time and couldn't jot down notes in my iPhone quickly enough with my 1 hand.

Conspicuous and electro magnetism were his 1st topics of discussion. Marvin then went on to say that he was not sure at what level he should come at us at. LOL He went on to tell us that there are 7 days in a year..according to Rome! LOL. Of course someone stated that he was wrong and that there are 365 but if you listen to his play on words, he is in fact correct. There are only 7 days...technically. Monday, Tuesday, Wed, Thurs, Fi, Sat, Sun. Those are the 7 days. LOL Good stuff. I don't know about the "according to Rome" part.

The next topic was the meaning of "exemplify". Marvin told us that that exemplify means to simply "set it off"... Exuberant means that you are top of the line and he no longer says the word hospital, he has done us all a favor and shortened it to spittle (1 letter and syllable short, how nice).

After a while Marvin started to became a bit agitated and stated that "just because yall see me with this oil lamp doesn't mean I dont know nothing...". An oil lamp is a 40, I never knew that until Sat.

The next topic of conversation was the word "cock". Marvin went on a rant about how a cock is a male chikin and that why in the world do men ask a woman for some cock. Marvin: "A cock is a d@mn rooster. I tell a woman I want some *****".

I swear I'm not making this stuff up.

The last topic of discussion was his lack of a cell phone. He stated that he doesn't need a cell because he's an an actor and not a producer. I have no clue what that meant. He also stated that if he had a cell and his woman called, he'd have no love for her and he's simply tell her to "be butterball" (when he gets home) and he'd hang up on her.

WOW!

I would love to change the world, but they won't give me the source code.

Monday, April 7, 2008

Ok, now tell me if I'm wrong...



Ok, so... LOL. We all know that us guys tend to allow our minds to stumble into the gutter without much effort. Last week I was walking through the mall with my sister Mia and spending money that I shouldn't have been. We walked back into H&M for what must have been the third time(they had a decent sale going on), and before I got to the entrance I noticed the above picture. I actually had to backtrack and take a picture of it.

Now...this deserves it's own paragraph... Those two little boys don't look innocent. In fact! In fact, they appear to be undressing this woman. I guess she's supposed to be their mom but they're clawing at her chest and the youngest appears to be peering down her blouse. The child on the right is entirely too excited and her blowing hair is really wearing me out. Although I must admit I hope they make that sweater hoody in an adult size. H&M doesn't sell their best stuff in Baltimore...sadly.

This is what happens when you breast feed your children past the age 5. lol

I would love to change the world, but they won't give me the source code.

Friday, April 4, 2008

Ogres are like onions...


This quote from one of the greatest movies of all time (Shrek) has always stood out to me. I assume that it has because I could relate to it. Nobody is as shallow as they seem, or at least I want to believe that but I do know that some people are, "what you see if what you get". I've always felt that there was layer after layer to my being that even to myself has yet to all be uncovered. Everyone wants to be "deep" and I don't necessarily consider myself that but more like an onion. LOL.

That being said, I wanted to share some pictures of Dr. Martin Luther King. I was going to just type MLK but I think his name deserved to be spelled out. I guess what I wanted to show you a different side of Dr. MLK then you've seen before. Very few people are aware that he was arrested 29 times during his service, hence the shot at the top of this blog. As far as the other pictures..., take time to click them so that they're enlarged and you can get a better sense of the emotions littered throughout the shots. Dr. MLK's sole remaining sibling is currently writing a book displaying many other layers of her brother that we never got to see.

All of these pictures aren't of him but they do show a lot and they all really spoke to me. Possibly throughout the day I'll comment on some other thoughts that I've had within the same vein of thought.





I would love to change the world, but they won't give me the source code.

Thursday, April 3, 2008

Naomi arrested after row on plane

Lock this broad up!

For real, she is a menace. LOL This chick has burned people, hit assistants, maids and God knows who else. I'm tired of hearing about her. I will celebrate the day someone merks out and just furrs her behind. So apparently this time she zapped out on a cop, lock her tail up.

I would love to change the world, but they won't give me the source code.

Wednesday, April 2, 2008

Lonnie Johnson must be having a fit...


Any of us growing up in the 90's know about the super soaker. My mom is cheap as crap so I never got above the SS250 but that's kool because the SS1000 was a leaking POS anyway. Anyway, if any of you aren't up to snuff on your black history like me lol.
You wouldn't know that a black man created the SS in 1988 under the original name of the "Power Drencher"... This invention of Lonnie Johnson ushered in a new era of power water squirters. It wasn't until 1991 that the name "super soaker" was used. This poor black man never realized that some clown would coin the term "super soak these hoes"... Poor Lonnie Johnson. On one hand you've brought us all laughter, joy and tons of soaking fun. On the other hand, you are responsible for adolescent females everywhere getting "super soaked".

That is my contribution to black history month, even though it is April.


While on the topic of hoes, I noticed that Rutgers lost yesterday and that their hair did not look nappy.

Impending blogs:
- The Devil is in my neighbors mouth
- Pacman Jones makes it rain on poor people


I would love to change the world, but they won't give me the source code.

Tuesday, April 1, 2008

April Fools!

Ok, no jokes here or pranks but I do have a few topics to touch on. I can be so scatter brained that I must jot them down before I forget. If you see a topic heading and no content, check back later because I'll get to it.

Skool System

I was listening to the Russ Parr morning show as I typically do every morning during my commute. A listener called in and stated that children who show a deficiency in math/algebra/etc. at the 9th grade level should not be considered for college. These children should be ushered towards different trades such as car repair and other manual labor style jobs.

This really struck home with me because I am/was one of this children and this is NOT the solution. If any of you are like me, you know that you have the capacity to do math (just using this word since it's general), there was just something that happened that turned you off to it.

When I was in skool, I didn't grasp the basics. It was at a time where my procrastination didn't set in, it wasn't necessarily the teachers fault and my parents were adamant about working with me and aiding me with my homework. I believe that it was a conglomerate of things that just snowballed... Large class sizes, lack of 1-1 with teachers, teachers feeling pressure to breeze through content, my own difficulty in grasping material and even different methods than what my parents grew up with that blockaded some of their ability to help me at home...

To say that keds such as myself should be banished to trade skools and manual labor is crazy, we would not be doing ourselves a service, it'd be a discredit. Wasn't Einstein terrible in skool??!! I'm not a good test taker but I went on to graduate from college and become a very successful 23 year old dude. If that caller had it his way, I'd be working in a GM car plant. Please don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong with those types of jobs but that job isn't for me. That job isn't for others who struggle at times, they destiny is their own.

As far as my struggles with math... I've been attending a introductory collegiate math class since the start of the year to get over my mental block of that I just can't do it. I've succeeded with it and will continue to succeed. What I've learned and am still learning in this class will allow me to get another college degree and prove the doubters wrong.


Upcoming topics of discussion:
- The Devil is in my neighbors mouth
- The inventor of the super soaker was black!!!

I would love to change the world, but they won't give me the source code.

Monday, March 31, 2008

Lock your bedroom doors

Today I was browsing my favorite forum and came across a funny life story. Well...I dunno if it's funny but the gist of it was that the OP (original poster/author) had drunk sex with party girl on the hosts bed... If that wasn't bad enough he left the used condom on the floor... The OP was approached by the plaintiff, the plaintiff gets knocked out by the OP's posse and they roll out.

"Moral of the story: don't use protection, only causes trouble."

I would love to change the world, but they won't give me the source code.

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Jury Duty

I don't think there is another event in my life where I get to see such a conglomerate of folk. For me, JD (jury duty) is a day off. I like to read, I like music and I like to sleep all of which I can do during JD. It doesn't seem to irk me like it does most people. There was a petite black lady in front of me yesterday who just embodied every stereotype one could imagine. LOL. Let me stop before I show you too much of how I really feel, its needless to say that she was a nuisance. There was another black lady who jumped out of the long metal detector line. As she tried to slink around the corner the guard caught her, her excuse was that she needed to fart... Wow... This same lady felt compelled to repeat the funny lines in the movie that was played for us in the staging area. Thank God for noise canceling ear phones.

I would love to change the world, but they won't give me the source code.

Monday, March 24, 2008

Your keds....leave their punk behinds at home!

Just because you cannot find a babysitter does not make it right to bring your stoopid child to the movie. I just paid close to $9 to enjoy a movie and you're going to bring some snot nosed brat to the theater and have the audacity to let them make a bunch of noise?!?! That's not only retarded but it's inconsiderate and if someone cusses you out, I'd have zero sympathy for you. What did Major Pain tell us? His sympathy is in between syphilis and sh*t. Don't get me wrong, when I go to see a Pixar movie I expect kids... But not when I'm going to see a GrindHouse Quentin Terentino flick, kids should not be brought to horror films. I mean really...

I would love to change the world, but they won't give me the source code.

Thursday, March 20, 2008

http://girlgetpaid.com/

Now, being that I'm a dood...I'd never have a site titled "girlgetpaid*" but thats why an old friend of mine did it. Now, I know that I only have a few folks reading this blog but for those that do, spread the word about hers.

She's basically sharing ideas on how to make some extra money, how to keep that money you just made and the change zipped up in your Kangaroos. You gotta be dumb old to know about Kangaroo sneakers.

Again, please show my girl Ducke some luv. I just started reading through her blog and it really is informative.

I would love to change the world, but they won't give me the source code.

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

What the french toast?!?!

12:18pm - Today is great. The coworker is away, nobody is breaking anything and I'm caught up on my work. Awesome! So here are some things that I've discussed with friends or even thought.

A. http://youtube.com/user/BarackObamadotcom - For those of you (myself included) who haven't had a chance to see Obama's speech the other day.

B. Is it really true that the original design for the Statue of Liberty was a black woman? It blew my mind. Here's a link to some reading material on that.

2:33pm - In 18 years this world will be filled with pansies... I love applejacks and this is the 1st time I've retrieved a toy out of the box. It was to be either a Barbie watch or a hotwheels watch... My luck dictated that it was Barbie. Darn! So upon searching for the toy I noticed it was NOT in the cereal but on the outside between the plastic and cardboard! Are you serious? I used to dig my dirty little hands through the cereal and I turned out just fine... What is this world coming to?

I would love to change the world, but they won't give me the source code.

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

I miss nap time...

New format today. As I continue my effort to iron out my blog, I decided that I'd embrace the totally random nature of myself and share my thoughts that I have through out the day. Enjoy.

9:25 AM
- I don't know about you but I severely squandered away my nap time years. When I think back to nap time in preskool, I would always break my neck to get the cot behind the book shelf. It would shield me from the prying eyes of teachers and other "blockers", LOL. And when I wasn't making fart sounds and jokes, I would read. I mean really, who the heck reads during nap time? This idiot does...

I would love to change the world, but they won't give me the source code.

1:00 PM - Am I the only person that didn't know that Hilary Clinton was in the death of Superman comic strip? She and Bill were at the funeral. LOL

While riding into work today I was listening loosely to the debate that everyone should be able to carry guns around old west style... I'll be perfectly honest with you, I'm not sure that I want everyone around me to be strapped. On plenty of occasions I've gone to the range with my dad and fired a ride variety of weapons. 9mm, .22, .44, to name a few off the top of my head... I guess what I'm trying to say is that it's not easy. It is not easy to hit your mark when it's just you, the gun and a sheet of paper. A real gun isn't the same light gun you have on your Nintendo when shooting ducks. A real gun kicks which alter your aim, distance and velocity play big roles.
I remeber that when I was younger and I fired a .44 or .45 at the range. It was my dads revolver and I had to aim at the crotch of the silhouette to strike the chest... LOL I was young and weak but I know darn well that I don't want someone of the same strength (or lack thereof) aiming at the back of my head in an auditorium so that he can shoot the threat above us. LOL

Clearly, there's an argument for both sides but this is just what ran through my head on the way to work.

BTW, I think Cheesta Cheetah is a sexual predator. Creepy character.

Saturday, March 15, 2008

Black Maybe...

I guess by now....well maybe not but be forewarned that my blog titles may or may not have anything to do with the content of the blog. I listen to a lot of music, anything from classical to rock, r&b, jazz, gospel or rap... I'll hear a sick line or quote and it'll stick to the bottom of my shoe.

Just bear with me as I continue to blog and over time learn what content I want to share. During this process I'll keep consistent with posting regardless of what it's about to so that it'll become habit.

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Nothing is new under the sun, it's never what you do but how its done...

Hi..., my name is Chris and I'm a Taurus. I enjoy strolls on the boardwalk, frolicking in the sand and lovemaking under the moon with waves crashing down upon me...errrr, I mean us...

Truth be told, Ocean water is usually too cold for me and the beaches where I live are littered with broken glass. There was just a report on CNN that 1/4 young women have an STD and 1 out of 2 young black chicks have a STD... So let's just nix that 1st paragraph altogether.

I guess I couldn't even begin to tell you what my blog will focus on... I'm sure it'll be different aspects of my life but never entirely about me for the most part. Hopefully it'll be enjoyable. Even though I littered this initial blog with phony information, there are some true statements if you really read.