A bit of tact would be nice...

My people... When you go out to a gathering, be it double dating, weddings, funerals or just random fellowship please do not attack your food. The photo evidence above was taken at a recent wedding, while we'll leave the suspect unnamed lets just say he's a thin six foot black male with long hair. LOL.

You cannot say that this man ate his food. You cannot state that he was famished. Those words do not accurately depict the destruction and ferocity in which this poor animal was dismantled. This man destroyed this animal. He vaporized any resemblance of what type of animal this could have been. If I had not received the same plate of food as he I could not report back to you that this was indeed an animal and not a small child. This man had a hunger that a snickers bar could not quench. It would take more than .5 a day to feed this man through a missionary Christian fund.

Please, my people... Do not come to a place of fellowship with this type of hunger. People like me notice and will write a blog about you.

I would love to change the world, but they won't give me the source code.